Thursday, January 7, 2010

horrible and embarassing things parents do






Preschool and Kindergarten planning (for those 'out of zone') has been so obnoxiously intense that I color coded charts and maps during the search - for purposes of professionalism and efficiency. And, ask anyone who knows me, I'm NOT that guy. I HATE that guy. But the 'educational' process is such a slap in the face, such a beat down by the irrational that I constructed these sad, pathetic grasps at control that landed somewhere very far from any place that logic resides (probably in a really excellent school zone). Look at the 'creative' font on the top image, ugh, did I do that? And the note on beth eloheim (and I'm Jewish, for, uh, chrissakes).

During the Pre K years you begin to recite numbers in your fitful 'sleep' - 321, 107, 10, 39, 154, 130, and then wake up like Keitel in the opening shot of Mean Streets to realize that you have to sell your home - your home - in the midst of an economic recession that is destroying much of the developed world so that you can (hopefully) make sure your kid gets to kindergarten and cries for the right reasons (shyness, apprehensiveness, pee leaking out of their sneaker) and not the wrong reasons (cage match atmosphere, blaring megaphones, uncaring/unmotivated/uneducated teachers). Or you leave it up to the magnet school prayer, which is a risk.

I sound like such a nutcase but - I swear - I'm NORMAL.

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